Girls Only...

I've spent my life surrounded by boys:
- I have 2 younger brothers, the youngest is only 3 years younger than me.
- Robin has no sisters, so when I visit my in-laws, I spend a fair amount of time with my brother-in-law (who is one cool cat, btw).
- I attended a science/engineering magnet program in HS, a Tech college, and a Tech grad school. So I spent most of my formative years in places where the great majority of my peers were male.

As a result, throughout my life, most of my best friends have been guys. This is not to say that I don't have girlfriends. But they have tended to be sporadic, both in space and in time. And rarely did I ever hang out with girls only. So while I occasionally enjoyed hanging out with just the girls, I didn't ever think of it as something I particularly needed.


I think I've finally been converted.


For New Year's, Robin and I, along with 2 other friends, visited college friends in Seattle. There were 6 of us, and 2 cars. We ended up with a girl car and a boy car. It wasn't that we didn't want to be with the boys; after all, 4 of us were in married couple form. But when we went shopping, out to lunch or dinner, drove up to the mountains to go sledding, and made the trek to Vancouver, we split off into girls vs boys.

At first, I didn't really think about it. In my mind, I was maximizing the utility of my time away from home by spending time in a car that didn't include my husband (I see him all the time, I don't need to be with him 24/7).

We were on our way back from Vancouver when suddenly, it all came together. Ady and I were chatting about our lives, our plans for the future, as Laura dozed in the back. We stopped at a gas station while the boys filled up their SUV, and Ady acquired some soda. Revitalized, we got back on the road, and turned up the music. I think "Buttercup" reached the top of the Ipod queue, and Ady and Laura broke out singing at the top of their lungs. I felt like I was in a warm, cozy bubble, shooting along the highway. I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the passenger side window, and tried to put my finger on what I was feeling.

Clearly, a good portion of it was just good vibes from good friends. But there was something more. There are certain things that only other girls understand; the joy of pawing through underwear bins at a Victoria's Secret sale, for instance. Or the little pangs of the heart when seeing other people's babies. It felt really great to share these vibes with more than 1 person at a time. (my daily/weekly interactions with girls are limited to a housemate and one college friend, both of whom are in grad school and are really busy.)


I miss my girls. Thank you, for teaching me the good that is all girl.

A few thoughts now that I'm a quarter-century old....

Birthdays are strange beasts. As a kid, you get big parties with other little kids in attendance, cupcakes and sprinkles, loud games, etc etc. But what about now? I assume that my age equivalent would be a big drunken adult party. However, I don't know if I would enjoy that; it's hard to have fun while drunk when you also get a headache and want to puke after more than 1 drink. Watching other people act silly while drunk also gets old.

I digress. There's something to be said for being the center of attention, which is really the main point of a big party, at any age, for any occasion. The little kid with the crown blowing out birthday candles with everyone else watching. The bride in a big poofy white dress. You can do almost anything you want, and no one can say anything bad about it. After all, it's my party and I can cry if I want to, no?

But is that what everyone really wants for their birthday? Large events seem too fraught with responsibility for the guests. That's the last thing a birthday girl wants for her big day. People take the day off of work, sleep in late, and generally shirk responsibility on their birthdays, why would I want to worry if we have enough food for people, or about social niceties?

There's a point in here somewhere. But I am not sure where it went.

When all is said and done, I had a good birthday. My closest family (husband and brothers) and an observant waitress at Finale made sure that I was the center of attention for an evening. And I didn't have to worry about a thing.

Holidays = food....

Yesterday, Robin and I spent the Thanksgiving eating and relaxing with friends in the Boston area. We stuffed ourselves silly on Turducken (a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken), mashed potatoes, yams with marshmellows melted on top, green bean casserole, salad, rolls, and 3 different kinds of cranberry sauce.


This photo of Tim with the aftermath of our meal pretty much sums up how I felt after we were done eating.

A lot of people have heard the urban legend that turkey contains tryptophan, and that this amino acid causes sleepiness after a Thanksgiving meal. Snopes has pretty well shot that myth down. However, I stuffed myself so thoroughly that after we were done eating, I curled up on Tim and Molly's couch and conked out for a good half hour . (But not before I unbuttoned the top button of my skirt. Yes, I really did eat that much.)

A couple hours later, we attempted to have dessert. (a few of us couldn't finish, they were still too damned full.) We had pumpkin pie, and a decadent chocolate hazelnut mousse cake that Robin made over the course of the two previous days. My only contribution to this cake was the powdered sugar decoration.... I printed out a picture of trogdor and cut out the outline, which on top of the cake before Robin sifted powdered sugar over it.


The paper cutting


The resulting cake

Unfortunately, powdered sugar Trogdor did not travel well... by the time we got to Tim and Molly's, the sugar was jostled all out of place, and the only recognizable parts were Trogdor's beefy arm and some majesty. The cake was delicious, though.

eh WHAT???

Fark Gem: but in case it gets bahleeted, check out the savings you can get at Target!

Be still my beating ovaries...

Poor 1 month old Ben is blotchy because of the dry heat that is the inside of a Boston apartment in the winter, but he's still getting cuter by the day.

There are all kinds of writeups on the wonder that is a baby, so I won't add to the drivel. It suffices to say that I am amazed that this little man exists, and I will be watching his development with wide eyes.

No caption needed

Why Blog?

I've been blogging for a long time. It started on my college webpage, over 5 years ago. Every month or so, I would add a text blurb about whatever interesting thing was going on in my life. Since then, I've gone through a variety of online presences (some on personal webpages, some on blogging sites), all with different amounts of interaction. In turn, I have watched as over the years, the number of people I personally know who were blogging grew exponentially.

A question that I have struggled with since the beginning was who my audience was, and what kind of interaction I was hoping for. Clearly, blogging is not just for personal record keeping... that is for paper journals. What I put on here is accessible to anyone and everyone; in essense, I am informing the world about events in my life, thoughts that I have, etc. Are my parents and brothers reading? What about my in-laws? Without interaction (or paying for web counters/IP trackers), it's hard to tell.

When I was simply posting text to my webpage, interaction was limited to email. Other online journals I have kept encourage a lot of interaction between the blogger and his/her readers in the form of comments on each entry. For some reason, I tended to chat a lot more with other bloggers whom I had never met in person, more than I did with friends I knew in real life. Slowly, my posting became geared towards interacting with these other online presences. It wasn't simply about keeping track of my everyday life anymore, it was socializing. Audience became tied in with interaction, something I didn't (but should've) foreseen.

And what about the people who are reading and not responding? I'm sure that my online blogging has had an unseen audience. I know that there are blogs and websites that I keep track of, but do not correspond with the author. Surely the same applies to me. Should I care about the voyeurs? Do I brag about my accomplishments? How much should I censor myself to prevent others from nitpicking/laughing over my entries the way I tend to do to others?

Ultimately, these are questions that only I can answer. I don't think those answers exist anyway. The reasons I blog are continuously evolving. All I know is that I have blogged online for a long time, and I will probably continue to do so far into the future.

Fall was nice while it lasted. Today is the first day it really feels like winter; it's snowing here in Cambridge. I'm still not used to the fall season being so short. While I was growing up in NJ, fall lasted till after Thanksgiving; I didn't have to break out gloves till December. But this year, I've been bundling my head up in scarves and shoving my gloved hands in coat pockets since the beginning of November. That's what I get for living 5 hours drive north of NJ.

When I was at Caltech, I complained a lot about missing the seasons. Now that I'm actually getting seasons, I sorely miss CA weather. Perhaps it is aggravated by our lack of a car; in NJ, I was driven everywhere and didn't have to be outside for more than 5 minutes at a time, but living in Cambridge means walking EVERYWHERE.

I know Robin wants to head back to the West Coast eventually. I think I'd be happy either here or there, as long as we get a car. Of course, job/grad school location will dictate it more than weather, but sometimes it's nice to dream.

rolling rolling rolling...

I've been at Payload for less than a year, but already I'm moving on.

Robin and I attended the wedding of his second cousin, Michael, in September. I met Nir at the reception (Nir and Michael's new husband are both faculty at Harvard/MGH). He wanted to talk to me about my new camera(Canon Digital Rebel) which he saw me using. We eventually started talking about what we did for our day jobs, which resulted in him visiting me a couple weeks later to talk more about his lab, which resulted in this:

Dear Regina:

I am pleased to offer you the position of Research Laboratory Technician for MGH’s Division of Rheumatology, Allergy and Immunology, Center for Immunology and Inflammatory Diseases.....

This is really a huge development, and not just because I'm switching jobs. I'm taking this job with the intent of completely switching fields. The plan is to get a couple papers out, and apply for a ph.d. in biology.

Where I go after that is anyone's guess. Industry? Academia? I don't know. And where does starting a family with Robin fit in with these new developments? I have no idea. There's only one thing I do know; for the first time in a long long while, I'm really excited about my career. It's a good feeling.

Just a Quick update

I have my own office at Payload now. It even has a window. (Well, the window looks out on a rooftop....)

There is now a Lollicup in Harvard Square.

We just got back from camping in Mammoth (near Mammoth Lakes, Red's Meadow, and the Devil's Postpile). There were 20 of us (all of Robin's dad's brothers' families, his grandfather, and a cousin and family) and I had a fantastic time hanging out with all of them.

If the prices stay cheap, I may take a trip to Australia to visit Laura.

And so it goes.

By the way, on the offchance that people actually read this thing, if any of you have photos from the wedding, please let me know! I'm trying to finish off our wedding album, and our photographer didn't stick around long enough for the bouquet/garter toss, so additional pictures would be really nice.

My office (or cubicle) is downstairs, along with other contractors who are not actually on Payload's payroll. Since it's winter, it's cold cold cold down here. So to keep myself warm, I brought in a small blanket (a birthday gift from Laura) and I drink lots of tea.

I feel like I'm the only one around here who doesn't drink coffee. I felt that way at my last lab as well. Hopefully, I've been drinking decaf stuff, or I might as well be drinking coffee. But I'm relatively sure that the chrysanthemum tea and other herbal stuff I find in the kitchen have no caffeine. Courtesy of whomever stocks the kitchen, I've been trying out all sorts of interesting flavors; cherry, passion (with hibiscus), green ginger, etc.

On a more amusing note, I left my ziplock with dried chrysanthemum upstairs in the kitchen, and my coworkers' first reaction to it was to jokingly ask who had brought drugs in.

Well, I am finally in the job force, working 40 hour weeks as a scientist/engineer at Payload Systems.

After more than half a year of transition, life is settling down into normal routine. I'm having trouble getting up early in the mornings, but Robin's 2 alarm clock is doing it's job. I wonder if I will eventually get bored. Just got to wait and see.

Spent the weekend a few hours south with my parents and aunts, one of whom was visiting from Hong Kong. Because of the visitor, most conversation was in Cantonese. That was my first language, but I stopped speaking it once I was 7 or 8. However, if I listen carefully, I can still understand a fair amount.

It was somewhat exhausting, actually. I didn't participate in conversation as much as I normally do, and if I did speak up, it was in English (my aunt understands it pretty well, but is not comfortable speaking English). But eventually I had a really interesting revelation.

I don't translate Cantonese into English in my head. It stays in Cantonese, but I understand it.

My ability to speak Cantonese must be laying dormant, then, and all I need is practice. This is very exciting to me. I very much want to be able to communicate with my relatives, the majority of whom do not speak English. And I have always wanted to have bilingual children.

A week or two ago, Robin told me he wants to learn Cantonese. He does know a few words here and there (mostly names for Chinese food that he likes!) so I think it's possible we'll be able to do this. It will take years of work (especially for Robin) but we're gonna start now.

The rain stopped, the skies cleared, and we had the most wonderful day of our lives... so far.

Everything happened on time.
The flowers worked out wonderfully (we arranged all centerpieces and bouquets ourselves).
The ringbearer and flowergirl were instant best friends and stole the show, as we had expected them to.
(The ringbearer actually fell asleep on his ring pillow during the ceremony).

But best of all, our families got along spectacularly.

oh man, it has gotten hot and sticky here in Boston. I really hope that it won't be hotter than 85 degrees on the day of the wedding... yesterday I was sweating like a pig while in tiny shorts and a tank top, I can't imagine moving around in a huge poofy skirt in that sort of weather.

I had a blast in Pasadena for a week; hung out, shopped, and went clubbing with Laura, and attended my little brother's graduation. I also ate a lot of good food. I really miss In&Out, Jack in the Box, and Shau May. The following week was all wedding stuff; not my wedding, but Tim and Molly's. The other two bridesmaids, Katharina and Katie, and Molly's adopted parents, the Borcherts, and I threw Molly a fun Hawaiian themed bridal shower. The wedding ceremony was outside, in a beautiful outside chapel. The reception was a laid back picnic reception (definetly above average picnic food though!) It was wonderful to see so many old friends from around the country, and of course, it was wonderful to see Tim and Molly so happy.

I hope that our wedding goes that well. It's getting really damned close now.

I'm so exhausted. I wonder if I'm getting sick or something.

This weekend I attended my first tae kwon do tournament. It was an incredible experience. We (MIT's Sport Tae Kwon Do Club) won the tournament, and are now first in the league. We didn't win it without a fight though. By the end of the day, lots of people were nursing major injuries. I was also beaten up; in my first sparring match ever, I had to fight a girl who was two belt levels higher than me, and way more experienced. My right arm was rendered useless for lifting/pushing things cause her kicks really bruised my bicep.

On the other hand, I thought it would be a much scarier and more tiring than it really was. If I practice a little, I won't be too nervous about sparring at this weekend's tournament at Columbia. Wheee! At least my legs are ok, which means I'm all set to go (tae kwon do is all about kicking).

Blogger seems to be acting funny, but I'm going to try to post this anyways.

Life has been crazy busy, but I'm getting a surprising amount done (although on a daily basis it doesn't feel like it). I presented a poster at this year's Orthopaedics Research Society Annual Conference. (my first conference presentation every, go me!) In putting together all the data for the poster, I've effectively written a chapter of my thesis. Robin and I have also done a fair amount of wedding work; we've got both ceremony and reception site (and therefore caterer) reserved, a rabbi who will co-officiate, a few leads on priests who are willing co-officiate, a guest list, my wedding dress (which I brought to a seamstress today to have altered), and my tiara. My mother will probably be getting us cool favors from Hong Kong. My bridesmaids and I have agreed on a dress, which my mom will have made in Hong Kong as well. (I'll probably ask my mom to have them make me one as well, as they're really sweet dresses!) Robin is looking for DJ's, I'm looking into photographers, and after Valentine's day I'll talk to florists (but we'll probably do the flowers ourselves). Robin's got a good deal on tuxes already. Really, the only major thing we haven't looked into is invitations, which we'll make ourselves so we don't have to worry about ordering them soon.

The semester just started, so now I've got all sorts of things on my plate. I've spoken with the Career Center here at MIT, and now have all kinds of fun resources with which to probe the biotech industry around here for job openings. I also have a contact through Topher (a Mole Techer who graduated in 97, just before I got there) which I will probably seek out. I've decided not to take classes this last semester (there's really not much left that I'm interested in), but will probably be doing grading for a bioengineering class for some extra cash. And there've been a whole ton of social stuff (friends coming to visit from NYC, friends winning pool parties at Jillians....) All in all, I've been a busy bee.

We have:
- 1 CA wedding site and reception site
- 1 really cool custom designer that might make the bodice for my dress for cheap (such that I can get my dream dress for less than 1K instead of for 4K!)
- several Boston area wedding and reception sites that we are checking out to see if they are possibilities. Stuff in this area is so damned expensive
- 1 really cool photographer in the Boston area that we'd like to use
- no date or location set. If sites here in MA prove to be too costly, we will fall back on the CA option, and probably go ahead and do it this August. No idea on how likely that is.

Since the semester doesn't start for a month (and since I probably won't take classes anyway) I will be spending this month wedding planning and thesis writing (that is, if the company I collaborate finally sends me some useful biochemical data)

wow. This is it. We're really going to do this!

Robin and I are officially engaged. I'm so excited!!!!!! Life with him has just been so perfect these past few months, it's hard to imagine it getting better. And yet it is. We're certain of each other. The sparkle on my finger is a constant, wonderful reminder of that.